Okay I guess I haven't posted in a while... a long while. But I promise I'm still alive.

Gross: Some turd decided to place a random bag of bad rice outside our door. This wouldn't have been an issue if we knew what it was but we didn't and therefore thought it was something for us. Note, it came on my birthday. So we opened it up and dug through it a bit, but alas, it was nothing more than smelly rice, the lid of a can, and a piece of paper towel. What a lovely birthday gift.

Smile: On Sunday evening after the Christmas Devotional from the First Presidency, we were hanging out on the couch when I heard the sound of "Birdhouse In Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants. It was my phone. I quickly rifled through my purse and found it only to see the word BLOCKED as the caller. Last time I answered a call like this it was from (in Taylor's words) "my Mexican Lover". That kid that kept calling when even after I said I'd moved to a different state. Anyhow, for this reason I passed the phone off to Taylor so she could deal with it. She hit answer and to my surprise the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley came through the earpiece. Someone was trying to prank call me. We just listened and sang along and eventually Taylor said, "We can do this all night!" and they hung up. It may have been Tyson (who claims to have had a similar experience), or it may have been Kyle (who denied it readily), or it really could have been anyone. But whoever you are, you made me smile.

Ticked: I had to take a math test on my birthday. Class ended at 2:00. I studied from 2:00 to 4:30. I finished my test at 7:00. At that point it was very cold and I had to sit at the bus stop for twenty minutes. Okay, I wasn't necessarily "ticked" but I wanted to be home and warm very badly. On a happier note, I was very surprised to find that I had received a 90% on said math test. A lovely birthday present.

Laugh: I believe that the movie Flushed Away is very much an underrated film. I convinced my friends to watch it with me on my birthday. The first time I begrudgingly watched it with Brookie I expected a dumb kids movie and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I think my friends expected the same, and for all I know they may have hated it, but I find it very witty and entertaining and I think that's all that matters.

Camping, Funerals, and the Inner Dance.

Wow. Lots of stuff is going on in my life right now. I guess I'll try to fit some if it into our format.

Gross:

As far a gross things are concerned, I have not been confronted with anything of note in recent days. The smell of garbage from beside the house occasionally wafts up and causes me to hold my breath a moment, but that's manageable. And our tent in Moab smelled of cat pee, so we didn't use it. Oh and I had this giant (maybe nickel sized) bump form behind my ear that hurt like no other. It was some kind of infection and it pained me for a good three days before it started going down. That's about it.

Smile:

Lots of things make me smile. The outstanding weather in Provo. The cute little kids who come into the Bakery. Compliments from Red on my art. But today the strangest thing happened, I went to a funeral and it made me happy. My Uncle, who I've met fewer times than I have fingers on my right hands, died in a crazy car accident. All my life all I ever knew about him was that he was named Don, he had a twin, and he had a stroke a few years ago. At his funeral I learned that he was a really amazing person and it really inspired me. His kids, cousins, siblings, and friends had so many incredible stories. I now regret not knowing him in this lifetime. He inspired me to want to actually get to know my aunts and uncles and cousins before they go too and I regret our non-relationships. I find it completely ridiculous that in the past five years I've haven't seen my mother's parents, most one of her siblings, or any of my cousins on that side. And on the other side I kind of know an uncle and aunt and their kids, and I barely even recognize the rest. I literally saw my first cousin today and wondered if she was my cousin. I only have six cousins on that side. I have decided that this will not happen to my children. They will know their uncles and aunts and cousins and when relatives die they won't have to regret never knowing them. Now that I've finished my schpiel for the day, let's move on.

Ticked Me Off:

We went camping in Moab last weekend. It had just finished raining and we were right by a river and there were loads and loads of MOSQUITOS. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. But I don't kill them. I don't ever kill bugs on purpose. I just can't bring myself to do it. Weird I know. But mosquitos make me mad, and I've just come to grips with that. I am also ticked that Shelley senior, my would be godmother, if my family had things like that, had a heart attack. She's always sort of been my buddy because of course I was named after her. Anyway, she's doing better right now but the possibility of her not making it really just ticked me off. She's not much older than my parents and that's really scary to me.

Laughables:

1. Penelope's crazy habits and words make me laugh. She loves throwing water all over, and sneaking up on people, and spitting on anyone or anything. We spent a good 20 minutes Sunday just running back and forth across the grass in her backyard. Then all of the sudden I hid behind this big fan-box thing and she started looking around and calling my name. As she passed me I jumped out, grabbed her, and scared her half to death. It was hilarious. I laughed very loudly.

2. On the drive home from Moab Brooke, a roommate not sister, relayed a story that tickled my fancy a bit. She's studying film and when you're recording something that grey fluffy thing they cover the mic with is called a dead cat (see picture below). So one time she was in class doing a powerpoint and she wanted to pull up a picture.... needless to say as soon as she typed it into google she realized her mistake and started yelling, "No, no, not a dead cat not a dead cat!". Brooke is tried and true lover of living cats.

3. The book "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. It's mostly depressing and pretty horrifying, but every so often it caused me to let out an unexpected chuckle.

4. Finally, the idea of the "Inner Dance". Okay, maybe it doesn't actually make me laugh, but I do find it funny and very real. My roommate Jana has this theory that if you've found your inner dance, basically if you know who you are, you can dance in front of anyone at any time. Some people are born with their inner dance (I think my Father fits into that catagory), some people find it during adolescence or early adulthood (For me it was sophomore year or high school, for many it's senior year or freshman of college), and still there are those who have yet to find it and possibly never will. My new roommate Knesha has yet to seek her inner dance, Taylor is looking and in the process of finding, Melissa has found and is expanding. I would encourage any and all to find this inner dance and flaunt it.

(Please excuse the immodesty. Apparently this girl's inner dance is a bit indecorous.)

Africa Etc.

Grosses

~ In our 5 hour layover in Amsterdam we decided to go through customs and check out the city. It was rather disgusting. There was loads of dirt and garbage everywhere and I saw a puddle of puke on the side of the road. The canal was rank and make me want to barf. (Maybe that's where the puke came from...) I saw a man with his fly down peeing in the canal. He didn't seem to care that the world could see... And prostitution is legal so we walked down multiple street with women in windows basically selling themselves. I was almost happy to get back on an airplane for an 8 hour flight. Being excited for an 8 hour flight is almost gross in itself.

~ The Food. It wasn't all bad. And I never got sick. But I just got tired of the same thing over and over and over. They serve eggs and porridge for breakfast every day. And there's usually fresh fruit. But Passion Fruit is oober bitter and I gaged every time I tried to put it to my kisser. Anyway the cook for the hike made "soup" for lunch and dinner every single day. And when I say soup I mean half the time it looked like dirty dish water. It was brown, green, or beige and had flecks of green or red and it was salty. And the meat was really chewy. Before the hike our guide came over and we were discussing the food. He assured us that all the beef would be certified for human consumption. I didn't even realize that was a question. Let's just say we had a pack of 30 king sized candy bars and none of them made it home.

~ The Maasai culture is gross. It's fascinating, but utterly gross. They don't have running water and their spring is like a mile away so they don't shower. The children are always covered in dirt. They don't care too much about covering up, especially the children. (They don't have diapers...) They make animal sacrifices and drink their blood mixed with milk. (I wonder what devout Jews must think of that...) And they have polygamy and they're very promiscuous and their kids all live in these tiny houses and they have loads of kids. When you think about it their kids must be scarred for life... cough cough.

~ It doesn't take too much explaining, but 8 days of hiking without showering is gross, hands down.

~ Last but not least, I found a tick on my head. I know on the East Coast they have lots of ticks, but I am not accustomed to them and they totally freak me out. It basically made me feel contaminated for a few days. Like I had some disease or something.

Smiles

~ The little Maasai kids made me smile. They were utterly cute and starved for attention. I would imagine with so many of them they don't get much if any alone time with their parents, who are always working, so they have to be crazy to get noticed. If you care I can show you the movie, but I'm not going to put it on here.

~ It doesn't have anything to do with Africa, but getting into the BYU Industrial Design program made me not only smile but wave my hands around in excitement. Not many things bring me to waving hands, so that was an accomplishment. Every time I remember that I don't have to be worried anymore and I made it in I have to smile. It's a lovely realization.

Ticked Off

~ It's hard to t-off Shelley, but Nigeria achieved it. We bought tickets from Nairobi, Kenya to Lagos, Nigeria without any warnings. There's a law that says you can only go Nigeria if you take the next flight out, otherwise you have to get a visa. Well, apparently they interpret that as, American's can't fly here without a Transit-Visa. It take a trip to the US Embassy and seven days to get said Transit-Visa. We had two hours. Hey, buttfaced dumbies! Us coming means we'll spend money in your country. If you make us buy a visa that give you money too. Deterring us from coming only ticks us off and dissuades us from ever wanting to go there again. That only hurts you. You're not only jerks, you are bad businessman and have somehow earned my dislike. That's a feat.

Laughs

~ The many "That's what she said"'s that occurred on our trip made me laugh. Quite loudly actually. My Father even started using them.

~ Popsicle related a story to us on the trip that made me chuckle. When he was young his family went camping at Yellowstone National Park together. There was a warning that bears were coming through camp. Pops was terrified and frantically ran to the car, hopped in, and locked the doors. Needless to say he beat his family. They banged on the windows and tried to get him to unlock the doors, but he wasn't going to risk a bear getting in. That eight year old boy had his priorities straight, he was not going to risk his life just to save his family. Apparently, for some reason, that was their last ever family camping trip....

From Provo to Phoenix

1. The food at the Dairy Freez in Parowan was barftastic. I had a burrito. I might have preferred one from the microwave. And the so called Guacamole on it was runny and not even green. They make good ice cream, but everything else isn't worth the time.

(Parowan's is called "Dairy Freez", apparently they can't spell there.)

2. The quaintness of Parowan makes me smile. We checked out the house my Grandpa grew up in, which is now abandoned. As we walked into the door way, which was blown open, I thought I heard Brooke fart, then I thought it was an animal hissing at me, then Brookie said, "Look a Hummingbird." So we looked around the house which must have been adorable in it's glory days. We stayed clear of the basement though because I saw/heard an animal down there. And I was too afraid of falling through to try the stairs. There were papers and various objects scattered over the floor and a splendid trunk in the middle of one room. Oh and there was a fresh poop from whatever animal was inhabiting it, probably a cat. All in all the house was cute though, and with some fixing up I would totally live there. The thing about Parawon is that nearly every house is antiquey and amazing. I know I couldn't handle a town that small, but I could definitely go for a summer home there...

(I think it's the house on the left. My Grandpa must be the little boy in front.)

3. Nothing really ticked me off today. Howabout another smile. Some relative of mine constructed a seesaw that is set on two giant wagon wheels long long ago. So you can seesaw and move along, at the same time! I have video of my older siblings on it as toddlers in a parade. I found this being used by my second cousins once removed next door to where we were staying yesterday. Brookie and I pretty much had to try it. I swear I didn't stop smiling until I was off. Seesaws are just as amazing as I always imagined. I would recommend them to anyone.

(Ours is a few decades older, but you get the idea.)

4. During the car ride home Scott pointed out a car and said, "There goes a Wankel." I was very confused, because it as a Mazda, not a Wankel. I turns out a Wankel is a kind of engine. That's not what made me laugh though. The thing that made me laugh was Brooke's response. She said, "Wankel? Sounds like a mix between an ankle and a..." She didn't finish the sentence, but she didn't have to. It made me chuckle. Because it's true. And now I will never look at the Mazda Wankel rotary engine the same again.

(Look! A Wankel 2000 in Serie!)

Redefine.

Okay. We need to redefine, or maybe just define. This blog is yet to have a set purpose. I propose that we use it to spew our feelings on... 1. Things we think are gross. 2. Things that make us smile. 3. Things that tick us off. and 4. Things that make us laugh. I figure we can just add stuff whenever we feel like it. I'll start it off...

1. Last night I realized how gross milk crusties are. They are bits of dried milk and they fall in your cup and you drink them and that's disgusting.

I'm going to switch 2 & 3 b/c it makes more sense that way.

3. I lost my favorite clip at the Girl Talk concert. It must have just come off while I was being shoved around and sweat all over by drunk/high people. It ticked me off.

2. I made three new clips today to make up for it. Two for me and one for Brookester. They make me smile.

4. I don't have a laugh, so I'm going to do another "Gross". I witnessed, for the first time, two girls making out at the previously mentioned concert. It was absolutely grotesque. Don't worry, there's no picture for this one.

Psh.

BTWs I love working in a Bakery. It's tough sometimes to not eat the delicious food, but it's so fun to sell well priced food to happy costumers. And the people I work with are all super nice and fun to be around. Plus, sometimes you get free treats. However, once in a while within the hoards of wonderful customers you get a butt. There was a lady today who asked if we had wheat bread. I directed her to the wheat bread. I informed her that it isn't whole wheat, but it's wheat bread. She was very confused and didn't seem to understand how you could have wheat bread that isn't whole wheat bread. I don't know lady! I sell it, I don't bake it. And then in an irritated tone she asked if it was healthy. What am I supposed to say to that. "Well that's a relative question ma'am, it's healthier than all of these donuts." I just don't like when people get ticked over little things like whether it's whole wheat or not. Why in hades does it matter? Just go eat some grass.

This is the outside of where I work.

And this is the inside of where I work. It's a random picture off the internet, so it ins't me. But you can pretend it is.

June Cleaver

I had this random idea to create a "June Cleaver" a few months back and I made about 60% of her then. Last night I realized I should finish her if I want her in my portfolio, so I did. And here she is!

What a Beaut!